Movin' Easy Dancewear

Can you guess why dance is the best therapy?  Dance energy flows through.  It is like riding the roller coaster that goes down the curve, through the bottom, and to the next up swing.  This is the flow of energy that accupuncturists, chiropracters and massage therapist work toward.  This is the energy that came from primal dance and came to us in the disciplines of not only dance but also yoga and Tai Chi.

That is why dancers rush to the floor bursting with energy at the latest hour and when it would seem there was no energy left.

It is this brightness of energy that I am looking for in every movement I make.  What is keeping me from that brightness is the thoughts and actions that keep me at the bottom curve of the roller coaster.  Stuck is what it is called.  These are the stuck thoughts about how I can move and how I can feel.

So how is it that dance energy is so powerful.  The proof is in the pudding.  When asked why dance is so much a part of people’s life, a familiar response is “I can forget all my troubles and just be in the moment,” and the response that covers all the bases is, “It’s fun.”

What is it about dance that overrides emotional hangups even extreme shyness and even challenges the  perfectionist’s attempts to shut out emotion from their lives.  I believe that it is the primal brain that responds to circular motion and to the elements of musical rhythm, phrasing, and tonality.

Children give us the best clues.  They love to spin and turn and explore movement.  Often I see a child humming while exploring a movement.  And of course the passed down childhood chants while jumping rope and playing are very powerful.

Dancer’s connection to music and circular motion is captivating.  In fact, dancers build within themselves an internal music, another version of the music they are hearing.  It is their own type of melody and phrasing that connects their memory, their feelings, and the intricate coordinations that are required to perform the dance.  It is this inner music that adds to the captivating nature of dance.

Learning dance requires this multi-layered inner sense because so many different parts of the body are involved at once demanding subtle use of inner muscles, feeling and personality attitudes, not to mention the circular crossing of several body parts moving in different directions.

Evidence of this inner music is seen not only in children but also in modern dancers who dance without external music and create lines and phrases that can almost be heard.  Watching a ballet dancer rehearsing without music, it becomes obvious that a real music is internalized and recreated by the dancer.

Dance is our best therapy.  Before our recent class, I got upset with Ginger for criticizing me and she got angry because I was upset.  We both left the dance floor where we were practicing before class.

As I have done many times, I said, “Rudy today is for counseling.”  Because he has been teaching since he was 14 years old, it does not take him long to get us moving again and practicing the communication skills we should be applying to dancing.

What he said to get us going was very helpful.  “Many people come to this point in their relationships.  They get mad at each other.  The woman learns quicker and can wield a critical comment here and there.  The man most times has little experience with dancing and is trying to think of the step, what is coming next, how to lead it, whether he is on the beat, and how not to embarrass them both.

“Some couples decide to quit dancing and they do not have the opportunity to go past that irritation.  So they keep that communication problem in their marriage.  It pops up in other ways.  You have the opportunity to use dancing to learn how to be considerate for each other and how to really learn how to communicate that to each other.”

“Now here is what I recommend.  When the man leads, follow him even if it is a mistake.  When the song is over you say, ‘Darling, I think the step went this way’ or ‘Darling, it would have been better if we had been on that strong beat with this part of the step.”

“Now for you Mister.  You always say, ‘Yes, dear.’  Or better yet, say, ‘Yes, dear, THANK YOU.’  So let’s learn how to use your arms to signal to her that you are not just directing the action but you are passionately connecting with her.”

Dancers know a secret to dancing that is a learned skill and is different from all the work to perfect every movement they make.  Ballet dancers use this skill to allow themselves to be picked up like a solid toy doll, to be flung like a rag doll, or to be lifted as if they were weightless.  There are actually many skills involved but one is simply allowing the body to be moved.

This skill requires a whole new brain mapping not acquired by ordering the body to complete a task and perfecting the execution.  Sounds simple but if you have had a massage and the masseuse said, “Let go of your arm.  Let me move it,” you would find that it might take a few tries to actually let the arm be moved.

The same skill is used by the follower in Ballroom Dancing and in the Scandinavian “he goes-she goes” turning dances. For many dancers, allowing themselves to be moved is as important and as difficult as directing the action of their movements.

Dancers have made many discoveries exploring this skill of allowing their bodies to be moved by others.  Modern dancers have explored the inner intention of Tai Chi and the concepts of momentum.  Systems of movement have developed such as Skinner Release Technique and Alexander Technique that explore movement that begins deep inside the body.

Steve Paxton developed a new dance form called Contact Improvisation that explores the balance of two bodies allowing the movement to emerge between them.  Deborah Hay explores the movement of the cells as an image to get in touch with an inner wisdom of the body.

Today the hands on work of Craniosacral therapy is a direct way for the body to understand how to move to its internal rhythms minimizing the planning and locomotive areas of the brain.

Dance is the opener and the connector of areas throughout the brain.  Dancers train themselves to go to neutral to allow dance to do its work without personal resistance.  Neutral is open.  Open is the place where learning connects everything.  Open is the place where the body heals itself without muscle relaxers.  Open is the place where passion pours through without getting caught on ego or negative beliefs about whether we can “do it” or not.

Dance is a methodical trainer for this “open,” this opening.  It is not a surprise that dance activates areas and builds connections throughout the brain. 

Open then is the learning that is totally commited and willing to take the hard knocks of making mistakes and being criticized in order to reach excellence.  Is this not the place we try to reach in learning all skills, academic, athletic, and occupational?  And do we not put a huge value on passion when it comes to going for what we want to achieve?

We see this opening in actors and singers who know how to let skill happen within them and allow their emotions to show through.  In academics we see it in the scientists on PBS Nova who are totally commited to their passion and totally delighted with each new discovery.  Of course, in athletes they must use every ounce of commitment to complete their goal.

I have been on a continual search to find this openness and to talk myself into allowing this openness into my daily life.  Of course, the openness is a natural state that I avoid with busyness and struggle.  Somehow it is difficult to believe that the openness is right in front of me.

Dance for me is the most direct route because it demands everything inside and out.  It is the way I learn to open and then I apply that experience to my relationships, my business, and of course my spiritual life.

The Dance Secret is the tradition of healing, happiness, and communication that has been passed down to us since the first humans began to sing and dance.  See the last paragraph for the ingredients of the Dance Secret.

Dance activates and integrates areas of the brain in ways that no other activity does.

Dance is a direct way to create positive movement patterns and discard old patterns that damage our bodies.

Dance is a direct link to learning how to explore and master the relationship between how we move, how we think, and how we communicate with ourselves and other people.  

Only dance can override age boundries, disabilities, and depression.  The limitations disappear when we begin dancing.

Only dance calls on our subtle movements as well as bold ones to bring our personality together with our outward expression.

Dance along with the other ancient forms of movement seen in yoga and Tai Chi integrates every muscle in the body to act together as a full support system.

Here are a few of the secret ingredients of dance that have inspired and healed people for millions of years:

Circular motion.

An intricate web of twists and turns of body parts that cross the mid-line of the body.

Palms facing each other that complete our energy circuit.

Intricate use of fingers and toes that communicate with every part of the body including organs and inner tissue.

Subtle and bold uses of movement quality such as fluidity and percussiveness builds brain power. 

Subtle use of the head, neck, and eyes that activates the brain.

Use of feet and all body parts in rhythmic patterns that connect and build hardwired areas of the brain.

My wish-A Dance Brain Gym for everyone.   24 hours a day.  Drop in or set an appointment with a professional.  Exercises, equipment,  experimentation and exploration opportunities.  All ages, all sizes, all physical abilities including handicapped.

Here are some of the needs that would be met:

Newborns need a variety of stimulus to build their brains.   Dance and music provide the variety of movements,  rhythms, and emotions that they need.

Children and Teens need the challenged to connect emotions with learning and with physical exertion.

Adults need the release and fun of dance and music to reduce stress and open their minds beyond themselves.

Seniors need to renew and build their brains.  Dance and music are obvious ways to do this safely while encouraging exuberance and delight.

Ballroom dancing is a challenge for the man and woman who must not only learn to communicate but also to deal with their belief patterns about each other.

For men of my generation, the given is that women more often than not have more experience at dancing than men.  Women have been perfecting their moves since childhood while men have spent their time learning a specific set of sports moves to achieve a goal.

I have grown to love the challenge of dancing together and the new learnings about myself.  Here is a list of problem beliefs that I have had to deal with:

How do I deal with my awkward learning while trying to be the man?

How do I deal with her always knowing what is right?

I am the one suppose to signal her what to do next?  How do I take charge?

How do I say I am uncomfortable with criticism without starting a fight?

If I take charge, will she really follow?

How can I be confident enough to not worry about all of this?

After a tense moment in dancing, stepping on her feet etc., how do I break the ice to bring us back to being intimate?

How do I stay connected and intimate even when I am struggling with the steps?

Transformations with Ballroom, September 2005″Now you have direction.” Those words struck fear in my soul. Ginger and I looked at each other and laughed. Rudy walked to the sound system to make an adjustment. I stood there in shock while Ginger repeated the words, tantalizing me with the delight of this new information, “You now have direction.”

Why are those words so shocking? I did not say it out loud but my mind echoed loud enough for Ginger to hear, “I will avoid direction at all costs.” Oh my God, I will avoid taking a direction in my life and I will avoid taking direction from anyone as well. This sounds wacky to take a dance lesson so seriously, but I knew at that instant that I had come up against a real block to moving ahead in my life.

“Wow. You mean I can use the walls as a guide to keep me from wandering around the dance floor.”

“All you have to do is face forward for this part of the step and exactly 90 degrees to the left to take this step. You were stepping somewhere in between and confusing both of you because you did not know where you were.”

I listened. I did. But, but, but. My head was swimming. I was disoriented. “What is going on?” I asked myself over and over.

I gulped and began the step again. The resistance, my resistance was so tactile. My feet wobbled, barely finding the position on the floor facing this wall then that wall.

My mind was still echoing, “Now you have direction.” Oh no. What now. Direction? Does that mean… 

Ballroom Transformations Home Practice-the Twinkle October 2005

Finally we begin. We clear the middle of the room for our first home ballroom practice. Exciting. Scary. First steps are OK. Maybe this will be fun.

Uh oh. I am tensing up. What is happening?

That lead thing. Why am I so irritated with anticipating and cueing Ginger? Our moves are so much easier when I remember,.

Ah yes, something about my resistance…to what? I do not want to be wrong, and I will be, at least a lot of the time. But that is not it. Breath deep. My eyes are about to pop out of my head. Do I look goofy or what.

Of course, the harder I try, the more awkward my lead is and the more wrong I am. Yuck.

I will try to repeat this step side twinkle thing over and over. That’s an interesting little rhythm.

Ginger says, “That’s it. That’s better.”

Uhhhh, what? Well maybe I gave up a little of the resistance. My whole body is screaming again, probably not wanting to notice the tension I hold from shoulder to hip. But why do I keep grabbing my muscles like that?

Last class I realized that I did not believe Ginger would respond without me manhandling her. The class before that I had a breakthrough realizing that my goal was to keep her off guard so she would not know what I would do next.

I guess our long history of improvisational dance together was my exploration of those two personal dynamics. We responded to each other in the surprise of the moment and allowed the ‘lead’ to come from either and both of us. Those times together were always a delight.

This is different. My subtle but strong lead is needed as a cue that the dance is about to change. We know the steps coming up.

Here we go. All we have to do is commit to going there together. It’s kind of a ‘we’ thing, with a cue to the vocabulary coming up.

OK, so Tim get with it. Arggh. It is like stripping gears in an old car. Keep telling yourself, “Ginger WILL respond without pushing or pulling her.” Repeat after me, “Leading is good. Just give a gentle cue for the steps coming up.” OK. OK.

Transformations with Ballroom-Triple Twinkle

October 2005

“Look at your position.” Contortion ballroom. That must be my forte. I had Ginger’s arm pulled out of the socket. Both my arms were pulled back past my shoulder blades. My chest was stuck out like a rooster and I was stiff as a board.

Totally disoriented, I say, “I am KO’d. You might as well ring the bell and take me to my corner. Slap me awake and sponge me down.”

“Keep your arms in dance position.” “Don’t pull her arm.” “Guide her gently with your hand on her back.”

Every word is like a blow to the head, one, two, three. I might as well be in a boxing ring, I am not out but definitely shaken.

We try it over and over. Same pull. My gut wrenches. The gentleness I identify in myself is giving way to the brittle picture of me yanking on Ginger. My whole system revolts. “Gently guide her?” My body screams, “Push. Pull. Do what you have to because no one is going to listen.” “And if she happens to listen, she will not understand YOU.”

Yikes. This is serious. I am in major deep water. My eyes are closing while Rudy demonstrates with Ginger again. “Help.” The bell might as well ring now because here I go back into the ring. Wide eyed, deep breath, and here I go.

My mind is so occupied; it is hard to remember which foot comes next. Start again. Here we go.

“Better. You have it with the Single Twinkle. Now try it with the Triple.” Have it? I have it? My mind is screaming, “Where are we. I am floating in the middle of the ocean somewhere. Which way is Zanzabar?”