Grandpa’s Guide to Dancing with Children is my exploration with twin girls Twala, Tweela, their sister Tiger, and their cousin Mr. Man.
I follow two simple principles. Children dance all the time, and a child’s job is to build connections in their brain by exploring every variety of movement.
To follow these principles, I have to adjust my habitual response both to children and to my use of time. I have to train myself to pay attention, total attention, to only one thing, “How are they exploring now?” Then my job is to support their brain building activity whatever it is.
Paying attention and supporting are the hardest for me because my inclination is to direct, to correct behavior, and to set time limits and schedules. Of course my adult life has to go on even with a child present, and my fear is that “This will go on forever. We will never get out of here if they keep doing this.”
The most important discovery I have made is that the child knows when they are done. The child’s brain building activity has a beginning, a middle, and an end. When they are supported, they know when to begin, when to keep it going, and when to end. Something in my adultness still wants to scream, “What about me? Don’t I know best?”
The answer is “No.” When it comes to a child’s exploration, only the child knows what and how much activity they need. Their discovery process and time sense goes way beyond what we call “attention span.” That term applies only to how long a child can be directed by an adult or manipulated by media. My new approach speaks directly to the adult pulling the child from the sand pile kicking and screaming. It also speaks to the child addicted to electronic games without a sense of time.
Tapestry Dance Co
